Life
After Graduation: How to survive
Graduate
Meets World
#Episode 1:
The 5 Stages of Post-Graduation Grief
Preamble,
This all
started innocently enough as I was narrating the details of a weird dream I had
followed by an anxiety attack to a friend , it’s important to mention that said
friend is employed and has been so for the past 5 years! Him being an observant
of the scene, or the drama of the “Graduate meets world”, he suggested that I
write about it as it has become a pandemic, so here goes!
It is also
noteworthy to mention that I attempted to do research on what has previously
been written on the matter and I skimmed through several survival kits that
have already been published, and I promise to dedicate an episode (or part of
an episode) to discuss them, apparently it’s an industry, books are being sold
and people are making money off of this!
The Dream
The dream
was vast and the sky was the limit!
But of
course they lied about that, almost as big a lie as the one told to millions of
poor unsuspecting high-schoolers ; “tough it out now and university will be
more relaxed” , you get to university and realize that the only reason it’s
more relaxed is that you stopped bothering and very little can phase you when
it comes to school, especially if you go abroad to study, I should mention that
I am not generalizing here and this certainly doesn’t apply to all students,
however, I speak for myself and those who have gone through this very same rite
of passage. Anyways, not to stray too far from the topic at hand….The Dream
which is the very close second biggest lie, is that *drum rolls*: Once you
leave the student life behind you, comes the real world with all its perks
despite the hardships, the independency and adulthood in its true essence, a
career, a paycheck, an interesting life even a family of your own!
The grace
period between the day you actually receive your diploma to the day you wake up
and decide you’re done relaxing and you need to pursue the dream varies in
length from graduate to graduate and I have a hypothesis that suggests that the
length of the grace period is inversely proportional to the effort you put into
your degree!
Yours truly was
one of the obsessive ones who started hunting for jobs before they were even
certain they’ll graduate, yup! Before I even sat for my final exams so my grace
period was more of a time to slow down and rejoice in the abolition from the
dreaded student life and its shackles, I mean I am about to pursue the dream
and the sky is the limit! I need a break to recharge! Or so I thought!
A few weeks
into the grace period and the dream slowly starts to shed its masks and you see
it for what it is….
Employers aren’t
going to Sparta over your fancy qualifications or rare major! Shocker! Right?
Job security
is a luxury to those who have jobs!
Money
talks!...... Sometimes it never shuts up
It’s who you
know , hardly ever what you know, in fact, with this economic situation, a know
it all is the last thing employers look for,
an obedient slave to memorize and do the tasks efficiently is the ideal
candidate.
You’re cheap
labor! And even then, you’re not coveted….
And many
many other fun facts about The Dream!
The journey
from graduation to the much needed wake up call and reality check, sobering up
and becoming objective can be summarized as follows :
The 5
stages of Post-Graduation Grief
1- Denial is the first stage; however denial
starts upon the first impact with the truth about “The Dream”. Denial itself
has different stages and layers, it starts with the basic denial of the fact
that you’ve been hoodwinked, denial that you’re no different from all these
other people who graduated last year and are still looking, after all, you’ve
attended thousands of seminars and read hundreds of articles and have the
techniques of how to land your first job memorized! No, it’s a matter of time
before I land the perfect job, I am proactive and I’ve done my homework well, I
even have a LinkedIn account!
2- Anger is the stage that begins to creep up
on you after spending a few weeks or months in denial (depending on how fast
you start to sober up) , you start realizing that none of the lies the career
advisory office sold you works, those articles on how to market yourself were
written as a practical joke and you’re as prepared as you were for university the first day you
arrived! (refer back to biggest lie ever sold) . This stage transforms you into
a bitter cookie, you direct your anger at friends, family, inanimate objects
and mostly on strangers on the internet, you pour your focus on politics,
sports or any other field that offers a healthy space for rage on the cyber
space, you’re angry and you show it towards everything and everyone except what
is really bothering you!
3- But the anger
gets old real fast! You start to cool down and enter the Bargaining
stage , you lower your standards in
terms of job hunting (like that makes a difference) , you put a fancy label on
your desperation “expanding my horizons” ,
you start comforting yourself by thoughts like “If only I had kept an
open mind sooner, I’d be hired by now” and a personal favorite “if only I had
just taken any job to get me started, I’d already be well on my way to my ideal
job” ……yup!
4- Depression hits when all fails, you lowered your
standards, you applied to basic jobs that only require computer literacy, but
you haven’t heard back. Family friends and relatives who took your CV have
disappeared from your life, you don’t even check your email anymore because you
just know all you’ll find is spam job offers from the various recruitment
websites you signed up to! You start questioning your choice to study what you
studied and beating yourself up over your poor decision. And soon enough, you
remove your resume from all online Databases, and you spend your days cynically
browsing job listings, eating your weight in whatever junk food at your
disposal, you don’t even go out anymore, because going out and spending your
parents’ money only emphasizes and enhances your feelings of total worthlessness.
5- Acceptance
comes upon realizing that yes you’ve been fooled and the world was indeed painted
with a fake rosey brush , but you’re not
the only one, everyone has gone through it, even those who have jobs now! With
that truth settling in your mind, you shed off depression and decide that there
is no option but to keep trying.
